Advances in Technology

Hear ye, Hear ye all brave supporters of the train wreck that is sometimes known as Yellow Jacket Nation.

In these times of adversity, it is common to lash out at your adversaries, to hide behind great deeds of times long gone. John Heisman, Bobby Dodd, Pepper Rodgers, Bobby Ross….those were simpler, better times. Greatness is but a distant memory and the future can be described as “bleak” at best. It can be a bit disheartening at times.

You have lost your mojo and it currently resides some 75 miles northeast, wrapped in one of Mohamed Massaquoi’s dirty game socks and buried in a time capsule, which will one day be unearthed and rightfully returned….in slightly less than mint condition.

You must not waver in your resolve. You must not simply accept the verbal barrage that is dumped upon you in seemingly unlimited quantities. What you really need is……ammunition. A quick retort when confronted with unflattering facts, an edge that will reverse the tides and give you the upper hand in any argument. I offer that to you now, as a gift, with humility, and ask for nothing in return.

Just consider……

(1) Since the Falcons have come to Atlanta, your football team has never been ranked lower than 6th in the state. In all honesty, most of those years, the Jackets can claim the prestigious 3rd spot. Sure, I know that occasionally a program of Georgia Southern’s caliber will knock you out of that spot. Maybe Valdosta State or Parkview or Lowndes County will sneak in every once in a blue moon. But, in general, you will consistently rank a solid third. You can take pride in the fact that in that same time period, UGA can only claim the top spot 15 or so times. Sometimes the Falcons are actually better than the Dawgs, but no one can diminish your accomplishment of consistently finishing in the top 5.

(2) You have a new coach that will bring a new space age offensive system with him. Trust me on this one, defensive coordinators are already experiencing sleepless nights in anticipation of facing the Techsters this season. Try dazzling your persecutors with your newfound knowledge of the triple / quintuple / multiple option power run, run, and run machine and watch as they tuck their tales and run, run, run away.

(3) This one’s the absolute clincher. Be forewarned, it takes some intestinal fortitude. If you’re going to sell this one, you have to reach down and grab your stinger, lower the estrogen level just a bit, because you know as well as I, it’s coming. There’s no avoiding it. You will be harassed by a Dawg fan….. “7 in a row, 7 in a row, 7 in a row”. I can’t stress the importance of maintaining your composure at this point, but it is key. This is your chance to stifle that obnoxious co-worker, friend or relative once and for all. You’ve gotta suck it up, look ‘em eye to eye, and repeat verbatim “So freakin what….FSU’s got 12 straight on us & runnin…..Yeah, that’s right, who’s our daddy now?”

Guaranteed to work every time. Glad I could help.